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Understanding Consent

Upper Schoolers received a frank, informative, and timely talk on sexual assault and consent at assembly last week. Speaker Demetra Lambros offered practical advice on how to navigate sexual relationships and encouraged students to find ways to intervene safely when they see others in trouble: “It’s not enough not to be part of the problem,” noted Lambros. “It’s time to be part of the solution.” 

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Demetra Lambros discusses consent with Upper School students at an assembly.


Lambros, who offered a similar talk to our Upper School three years ago, is an attorney at the Department of Justice (and the mother of three alumni). As former general counsel for the Senate Judiciary Committee, chaired by then-Senator Joseph Biden, she helped craft sweeping anti-crime legislation, gun-control measures, and the landmark Violence Against Women Act. She also played a central role in drafting the Obama White House’s initiative to help combat sexual assault on college campuses.

Speaking as both attorney and parent, Lambros opened with what she considers her wisest advice: Do not have sex until you are older and in a committed, loving relationship. Lambros then offered clear definitions of sexual assault, rape, and consent, airing a popular British video on consent  to amplify her message of what does, and does not, constitute consent. Lambros described how both the criminal justice system and colleges today handle cases of sexual assault, noting that educational institutions are becoming increasingly aware of and attentive to assault cases.

Stressing the need for empathy, Lambros encouraged St. Albans students to make an extra effort to take coordinate classes, to engage girls in conversations, and to pay close attention to what they are saying. “Men who see women as equals are much less likely to assault,” she noted.

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From left: Jorge Guajardo ’21, Chris Tingle ’21, Lachlan Sidak ’21, Demetra Lambros, Mekhi Love ’21, Harry Irwin ’21, and Mac Johnson ’19.


Lambros encouraged students to step up if they see someone in trouble. “Just like you’ve learned that friends don’t let friends drive drunk, friends also don’t let friends hurt other people. And men of character step in to help when they see someone in trouble,” said Lambros. “The hero’s moment is about realizing that something is wrong and having the courage to try, safely, to stop it.”

The conversation will continue as Upper School students meet in small groups to discuss further the topics raised in assembly. We thank Demetra Lambros for returning to campus once again to offer such a thoughtful and thought-provoking presentation.
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Located in Washington D.C.,  St. Albans School is a private, all boys day and boarding school. For more than a century, St. Albans has offered a distinctive educational experience for young men in grades 4 through 12. While our students reach exceptional academic goals and exhibit first-rate athletic and artistic achievements, as an Episcopal school we place equal emphasis upon moral and spiritual education.