The Result of Our Experiences

Now, when I tell people that I think time travel is real and ask for their opinion, I usually get one of three responses. The first, and unfortunately most common, is a sort of bewildered look, followed by a concerned “Time travel doesn’t exist. Are you feeling okay?” The second is something along the lines of, “Dude, totally! Have you seen Looper? That movie is sick!” The third occurs rarely, and it involves someone actually trying to provide an explanation for the theory behind time travel. Some would say that we exist in a world of parallel universes where everything that can possibly happen has happened, and changing something in the past moves you to a timeline in which that event occurred in that way. Others would argue that each time you make a decision, two worlds are created—one in which you decided to do something, and one where you did not. Time traveling is simply going back to before that branching. I would go on to discuss more intricacies of the continuity of space-time, but frankly, this is as far as I got on the Wikipedia page. Whatever you personally believe about time travel, I ask you to suspend your disbelief for a moment, and consider that it does.

Now, I’ll ask you this question: if time travel was possible, would you do it? Would you go back and change the past? Again, there are three typical responses. The first one consists of an awkward silence followed by slowly backing away. The second is along the lines of, “Dude, no way! Have you seen The Butterfly Effect? That movie is sick!” The third—and this is how I would respond—is a “No, I wouldn’t want to go back.” It’s an odd response from someone who believes in time travel, but I can definitely say I would never change the past. Why? Because who we are as people, right now, is the result of all of our past experiences, both good and bad.

Think about every mistake you’ve ever made; doing homework in class because you forgot about it the night before; lying to your parents about breaking something and having someone get hurt by it later; missing your first class because you thought it was an F-Day and decided to sleep in. Think about every time you’ve failed at something: not beating last year’s personal record by the end of this year’s cross-country season, trying to bake chocolate soufflé and doubling everything except the chocolate, that very first Honors Precal test, several other Honors Precal tests after that, still parking outside the lines after the twelfth try while people honk at you. Think about all the regrets you have: not asking for that girl’s number at a party, asking for that girl’s number at a party, bailing on a friend because you just don’t feel like it, not telling your family you love them. If you could time travel, you could redo all of it. You could win the lottery. You could stop terrorist attacks. You could have “the perfect life.” But maybe, that seemingly “perfect life” might not be worth living.

We all make mistakes. We all fail. We all have regrets. But our experiences with the sadness and the depression and the feeling of inferiority that come with those bad times teach us lessons and make us who we are, just as much as the happiest moments do. You will fall down. Many of us have, and if you somehow haven’t yet, you will soon. “We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.” Do not get hung up on your failures. Take your mistakes, and learn from them.

I have a very hard time taking chances. Given my personality, I tend to overthink things, playing out every possible situation in my head before making a decision. I almost always come up with a reason not to do something, and even if I don’t, by the time I’ve decided I’m ready to do it, the opportunity has passed. I think we all have that little voice inside of us, telling us about all the bad things that can and will happen if we do something new or different. I feared—and I still fear—failure. I don’t want to make a mistake; I worry about what other people will think of me afterwards. Regardless, as I went through Upper School, I failed a lot, both in grades and otherwise. But slowly, I began to accept the possibility of failure. It’s important to note that accepting failure is vastly different from being content with failure. I still die a little inside when I get a test back and the first number is a five, but rather than getting upset or giving up, I just push myself harder the next time.

I will leave you with one final thought. Mistakes can be fulfilling. Do not let a fear of failure dictate your actions. Instead, take a moment to look back on your life, from the greatest euphoria to the worst dejection. Keep those lessons with you as you march toward the future. You won’t know what’s behind the door in front of you unless you open it, but even if it pushes you down—and eventually, it will—all of us sitting here will be there to pick you back up. Now go in peace to love and serve the Lord.